Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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