I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
