dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
