So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
