what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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