VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
