I just cut my nipple shaving
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I don't deserve a penis
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
