Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
try to milk me bitch
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