My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
