yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
