I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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