can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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