we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Randomize
