What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
