when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
