Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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