Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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