Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
