This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
