remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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