So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i think my mom watched the whole time
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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