Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
