lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
