you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
