Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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