So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
