Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
