I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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