also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
