whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
