Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
