Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You were trust falling into bushes
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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