Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
