we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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