Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
