she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
