hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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