Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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