did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
