worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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