She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
