if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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