Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
