Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
