I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
