If i could tip my vagina, i would.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
