you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
