i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
