I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
