She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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